Hinduism for dummies

I didn’t understand much about Hinduism before I moved to India. Cows are holy, reincarnation, lots of gods. That’s about it. I hoped I would automatically learn more just by being here. I thought Hinduism’s stories and lessons would unfold themselves just by virtue of being in this land. That didn’t really happen.

So, during my third and final year in India, I’ve made a bit more effort to learn. I asked more questions. Read books. Visited Hindu temples with a guide. Observed religious festivals. My atheism makes it impossible for me to really participate in rituals, but my quest for knowledge and budding interest in spiritualism inspired me to summarize the whole thing in 20 bullet points:

The more you study world religions the more you realize how similar they are. Christians might not think they share Hindu beliefs but what about this: In Hinduism, god is made up of three gods (Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva). Holy trinity, anyone?

The relationship between the three gods, the Trimurti, is interesting and definitely not perfect. Shiva is Brahma’s son but once cut off his father’s fifth head because he had created it specifically to ogle one of his pretty daughters.

Brahma, the creator, created his consort, Sarasvati, out of his own flesh. Kind of like how God created Eve from Adam’s rib. All the gods have powerful wives, by the way, so that’s 1-0 for Hinduism.

Vishnu is the preserver. When he descends to earth to fix things he does it in one of ten incarnations, including Rama, Krishna and Buddha (there is plenty of debate about the Buddha thing, as you can imagine). Several of his avatars are animals.

Shiva is the god of destruction but also regeneration. He’s also a yogi, a great dancer, and lives in the Himalayas (kinda like Zeus on the Olympus). He’s Ganesha’s father but accidentally cut off his head, then gave him an elephant’s head to make up for his oopsie because his wife Parvati got real upset.

The Vedas are four books detailing how the world was created.

Why are Hindu gods often depicted with blue skin? Because they’re special!

Of the seven holy cities for pilgrimage I’d only heard of Varanasi, the main one.

It’s pretty normal for Indians to name their kids after gods and their avatars. I know people called Laxmi, Krishna, Pooja, Rudra, Radha, Shreya, Daisha, and Savita.

Once I arrived in India I heard the word “puja” everywhere. It means worship, or religious ceremony, and can be done individually or collectively. It’s a big part of all the festivals and any Hindu rite.

The three main gods are really a whole bunch of gods smushed together. Parvati, who is Shiva’s beloved wife and Ganesha’s mom, is also Mahadevi, the river Ganges, Durga, and Kali—all major characters in Hindu religion.

Durga, for example, has her own 10-day festival. She’s a warrior created by the gods to defend them. She’s badass.

Diwali is probably the best known Hindu holiday, known as “the festival of lights.” But what is it all about? Well, it’s not simple. It follows the 10-day Dussehra festival, which celebrates the victory of good over evil (storied in the Ramayana). It’s like the Odyssey and Christmas wrapped into one. The main character is Rama, who is a reincarnation of Vishnu, who returns home victorious in a blaze of light.

Krishna (another reincarnation of Vishnu, remember) is the god who inspired the Hare Krishna movement, a monotheistic religion started in the 16th century.

Many stories in Hinduism have elements that pop up in other religions: floods that wipe out all life on earth, beautiful women being kidnapped, the third eye, Judgment day, and an arrow-shooting love god, to name a few examples.

There are two other important books and they have lots of a’s: Ramayana and Mahabharata. Once you’re used to it it rolls off the tongue quite easily, actually. They explain India’s mythologies, wars and royal dynasties. There are plenty of modern novels based on these epic tales, like the female-centered “Palace of Illusions” by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (I found it a pretty good read).

Fun fact: the Mahabaratha, which describes the Pandava and Kaurava family battles, is thrice as long as the Bible. It was recited by a sage called Vyasa and written down by none other than our favorite elephant god Ganesha, who broke off his tusk to write with (hence he only has one tusk left).

The Bhagavad Gita is a chapter of the Mahabharata and considered the best part. It’s a speech by Krishna (to the hero Arjun) about doing your divine duty. Apparently Mahatma Ghandi read it a lot when he was in prison.

There are lots of demigods in Hinduism who represent everything in the universe, which means everything in the universe is worship-worthy. I’ve been surprised more than once about the reverence with which Indians treat trees (let them grow in the middle of busy roads rather than chopping them down) and generously feed annoying animals like pigeons, street dogs and crows.

Ever wonder why Hindus bathe in the river Ganges? This holy river, which is in India’s holiest city, is actually a goddess. She cleanses your sins and can guarantee a space for you in heaven.